thesarkycoder:

pitbolshevik:

pitbolshevik:

rasputin didnt become a fucked up sex wizard until he was like 30. your life doesn’t end at 25 <3

if you’re in your mid twenties and you’re reading this you still have plenty of time to inadvertently topple a dynasty just by being really fucking weird and horny. don’t worry.

New Gen-Z target unlocked: you must destroy an empire with your genitals so hard, you have a Boney M. song written about you

oneheadtoanother:

timeclonemike:

aphony-cree:

funnytwittertweets:

This feels like a good time add one of my favorite weird inventions from history: The book wheel, invented in 1588

You know that the inventor of the book wheel is looking at 70+ tabs open in their descendants’ browsers and going

qualseph:

jelloapocalypse:

jelloapocalypse:

rabbits-of-negative-euphoria:

the-mighty-birdy:

pain-and-missouri:

pain-and-missouri:

A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

“Um hey guys. I’ve been hit pretty hard with financial difficulty lately. I’d really appreciate it if you’d consider commissioning me.”

Stabbings: $45

Gunshots: $100

Poisonings: $200

Thanks you guys please share if you can!  ❤️❤️❤️

Commissions I will NOT take:

👎 Kids (Teens are fine tho)

👎 Bystanders

👎 Other Hitmen

If you want to know why, message me, but otherwise no hate pls ✨

hey guys, normally i try to keep drama off of my blog but this is really important. I just wanted to let you know that someone named WetWorkKing05 has been taking credit for MY kills over on redbloodle.com and is making money off of my hard work. When I messaged him directly he blocked me and threatened to kill ME >_> I’ve tried talking with the mods about getting his account taken down, but redbloodle has NO policy for this and they are no help at all. i don’t know what to do??

PLS signal boost if you can! And in the meantime, if you need somebody killed, do NOT hire WetWorkKing05! he is a THIEF!

repeat after me:

MURDER 👏 THEFT 👏 IS 👏 A 👏 WORSE 👏 CRIME 👏 THAN 👏 REGULAR  👏 MURDER  👏

i don’t have energy right now and i am wheezing

cybra-sensei:

thispreciousthing:

A six year old once asked me what adulthood is like.

“You can eat ice cream for dinner every night if you want,” I told him.

His face lit up.

“But you have to buy it yourself.”

I’ve never seen someone go from delighted to devastated as quickly as that little boy.

This is the most accurate description of adulthood I’ve ever heard.

younowwantcheeseontoast:

just-shower-thoughts:

Cassettes had side A and side B, therefore it was kind of logical its succesor would be the CD.

fuck this post

im-prada–u-nada:

why is being alive so expensive. i’m not even having a good time

interstellarvagabond:

jomjjeoro:

hey guys. this is my invention. check it out

listen no matter how depressed I am whenever this post shows up on my dash I fucking lose it I just laugh so hard, it’s such a good post. The way it’s presented? Soap on a sink nozzle, okay clearly this is some sort of handwashing appliance. Then there’s just water going everywhere no further explanation it’s so good I’m so happy

gogu:

pastarrie:

gogu:

that gamer feel when……ur gaming

explain

only gamers will get this

just-shower-thoughts:

We can only describe smells by comparing them to other smells.